When the Burning Man leadership team was hammering out the 10 Principles, they must have tripped all over themselves trying to describe a culture that rejects the heavy commercialism that is typical of the default world.  What they came up with was the term “decommodification,” a genuine mouthful and a conversation stopper.

But what the principle entails is something that I personally value greatly – escape from an environment in which everything seems sponsored by a commercial entity.  Driving on Wal-Mart Way, attending a basketball game at the Sleep Train Arena or watching baseball at AT&T Field, wearing a ski resort logo hat with an automobile’s name on the back, seeing constant ads on facebook and gmail.  It’s numbing and causes us to forget what a truly commercial-free environment feels like. 

At Burning Man, there are no ads (except whimsical parodies), and no sort of branding outside of Burning Man centric activities.  (It’s probably a subject for another blog post how Burning Man camps and events market themselves both on and off the playa). 

Nonetheless, this attempt at a brand-free world is what the organization means by decommodification.  Some people take it very seriously and block out or subtly change brand names on their vehicles.  A “Ford” truck becomes a “Food” truck, or a Buick automobile is somehow recreated as a Fuck-mobile.

Spoofing brand names is part of “Decommodification” – one of the 10 Principles of Burning Man

It’s a relief to get away from all the commercialism of the modern world, and to see ubiquitous brands like Wal-Mart or Bank of America turned into spoofs of themselves (Mal-Mart and Bank of UnAmerica), because in the default world, even when we’re not buying things we’re surrounded by commercial imagery.

Decommodification is only tangentially related to the commerce free concept of “gifting,” which minimizes or eliminates product sales at Burning Man.  Off-playa, free stuff is often just a means of promoting brands and products, whereas gifting at Burning Man comes with absolutely zero expectation of a vis-à-vis payoff.  The nature of decommodification means our gifts should not only be free, but also have no marketing purposes whatsoever.

Corporate identities sometime sneak their way onto the playa.  I recall a number of commercial products being given away, including Ben & Jerry’s ice cream.  If we are honest with the way life works on the playa, we’d acknowledge that Ben & Jerry’s is an acceptable brand on-playa because of its corporate reputation for loving kindness and liberal politics, while other corporate entities such as BP or Nike might be perceived politically as more corrosive to society. 

But overall, corporate intrusions on the playa are few and far between, and therefore our lives feel more untethered from commercialism during the week of Burning Man.  I’ve always viewed the Burn as “the world turned on its head for one week in the desert,” and the principle of Decommodification helps create this environment and helps delineate life on the playa from life in the real world.

Trying to describe Burning Man to someone who’s never been is like trying to describe New York City without the help of photos or picture postcards.  Try as I might, I’ve never been able to depict the scope and vitality of the Burn in a satisfactory manner. 

Good news: there’s now a solution.

The new feature-length documentary “Spark: A Burning Man Story,” captures the Burning Man experience to near perfection.  Shot mainly at Burning Man 2012, but including footage from as far back as the original Burn at Baker Beach in San Francisco, Spark recounts the history of the event, and brings viewers face-to-face with the Burn’s glorious sound and imagery.

Spark takes an unsparing look at the phenomenon of Burning Man, introduces you to the key players in the creation and development of the Festival, and follows a small group of artists as they go through the trials and tribulations of creating major pieces of art and getting them out to the Playa. 

Produced and directed by the creative team of Steve Brown and Jessie Deeter, the film has been shown at numerous film festivals, including SxSW in Austin and is making its way to select cities where it’s screened to raise funds for various Burning Man art projects.  We saw it in Sacramento on June 11, with funds going to the Playa Queen art project, which has been accepted as one of the regional CORE installations to be placed around the man at the 2013 Burn.

I had a chance to congratulate Deeter at the screening and she told me that copies will be made available on DVD at some point in the near future so we can eventually share this extraordinary production with friends and family.

Spark conveys the creativity of Burning Man by following three artists through their wrenching route to the desert, and also digs into the Burning Man organization’s own struggles as it copes with the festival’s prodigious growth.  The film relates a key turning point in 1996 when the size of the crowds and the out of control environment almost destroyed the event and required a more structured approach, which was anathema to some early Burners. The film also spares nothing in capturing 2012’s ticket fiasco and the struggle to get back the organization’s Playa mojo.

Fire and Metal sculpture by the Flaming Lotus Girls.

But it’s mostly about the whimsy and joy, which keeps Judie and me coming back to Burning Man year-after-year.  Nothing I’ve seen has shown Playa bliss more clearly than Spark.

One of the amazing aspects of the film is its soundtrack, which includes music written especially for the documentary.  Deeter told me that the producers will consider packaging a soundtrack CD as a bonus with the home version of the film.

You can learn more about Spark: A Burning Man Story on the film’s website, where you’ll also see a trailer and the film’s performance schedule.  If it’s coming to a town near you, go see it.  If you have a major Burning Man project that needs a fundraising boost, contact the producers about bringing Spark to your locale for a benefit screening.

Every now and then I like to reiterate the reasons that I go to Burning Man and why I think it’s a particularly great event for people over 50.

It all started in 2004 when my then 20 year-old son asked me (age 60) to go with him to Burning Man.  Who could have said no to a son 40 years your junior?  The opportunity to spend quality time with him was simply too great to pass up.  Additionally, I had heard about Burning Man for years and knew that the festival was – at least in part – about art.

So why hadn’t I previously gone myself?  Like most people, I was put off by the harsh environment and the onerous requirements involved in radical self-reliance.  So it took the serendipitous opportunity created by my son to get me out to the desert.

What I discovered was that art was only one of a number of extraordinary aspects of Burning Man that made it worthwhile for me.  Upon my return, I discovered something else extraordinary.  I felt, looked and acted younger – and not just a little younger.  I felt 20 years younger.

My wife of nearly 40 years came with me the following year and loved Burning Man as much, maybe even more, than I did.  It has become a part of our lives and a true enhancement to our relationship.

The art turned out to be only one part of Burning Man’s secret sauce.  There was also the fun – the whimsy that pervades the playa.  Crazy art cars that look like dragons or magic carpets or gigantic boats or ducks; signage that made you laugh (my favorite was at the Black Rock City post office and said, “There’s no Team in Fuck You”); amazing costumes (one of my favorite movie characters, Leelu from “The 5^th Element” came to life); and parties that had nothing in common with the typical quiet little backyard events of my age group.  It was all about the freedom to be whoever you wanted to be for a week without judgments or repercussions.

Eroticism is everywhere at Burning Man.

All of it made me feel younger.  But there was also the erotically-charged atmosphere of Burning Man.  Between the naked or semi-naked bodies, the many camps devoted to some pursuit of sexual pleasure and the totally open attitude toward sexuality, there was a pervasive erotic attitude that had its impact on me.  I realized looking back that the life enhancing power of eroticism was one of the most important reasons I felt so much younger when I got home.

My wife and I both sense it and respond to it in ways that rekindle our physical and emotional relationship year after year.  Who wouldn’t want to go when, nearing 70 years old, you find yourself feeling renewed about your own sexuality and renewed in your love and appreciation of each other?

Those are the reasons we love Burning Man, we continue to go (this year will be the eighth Burn for both of us), and we encourage others our age to give it a try.  

Plus,each year there are surprises that bring new pleasures as well, and our anticipation of what this year will bring grows as the days to Burning Man count down.

If you haven’t gone, join us.  We’ll be parked in Lamplighters Camp.  Ask for Perky and Lashes.

By now, those of you planning to go to Burning Man are probably working out the details of your trip.  One of those details should be what you’ll bring to sustain yourself, eating-wise – after all, you are responsible for your own food and drink.  There’s not even a water fountain in Black Rock City (at least, not one I’ve ever seen).

If you’re camping on your own, you’ll need to pack food for every meal during your stay.  Of course, there are plenty of freebies around; one could theoretically find free food all day (and night) at Burning Man – everything from morning pancakes to evening hot dogs to midnight fries.  But you won’t want to depend on gifts alone as your main source of nutrition. The camps serving up freebies are notably irregular on their schedules and the amount of available food; plus, a diet of only what you can bum off of other camps will not provide an haute cuisine experience (or a healthful one, for that matter).

So what should you bring?  I’m not an expert, but I can tell you what we bring to the Playa to eat and drink.  Since Lamplighters (our camp) serves dinner most evenings (we all contribute the food, and camp members do the food preparation as their assigned duties in lieu of lamplighting), we largely concern ourselves with breakfast and lunch – but what we bring could serve for all three meals.

Some of the great non-perishables we bring include cans of soup, tuna, peanut butter, cereal and boxed milk.  For greens, we bring cans of green beans or peas and usually eat them cold.  We find that a loaf of bread will last the week.  Bring some just ripening fruit and it might also make it for the entirety of Burning Man.  We’ve found that oranges keep best in the desert. 

By the way, we heat up soup by putting the can outside in the sun.  If we place it there in the morning, the soup is usually hot by lunchtime.  Opening cans will be a problem if you forget a manual can opener, although many canned foods are now packaged in self-opening containers.

Oh, and don’t forget utensils.  We all like to get dirty in the desert, but slurping up soup without a spoon takes it a bit far for me.

Your range of food will be more limited if you don’t have refrigeration.  Many people bring 7-day coolers and replenish the ice as needed from the Arctica camps at located near Center Camp and at the 3 and 9 o’clock plazas.  The ice is one of the few things that’s not “gifted,” but instead is sold by Burning Man (similarly, the Center Camp Café sells coffee, tea and a few other drinks 24 hours a day).  Earnings from sales of both ice and drinks go to local schools in the towns that border the Black Rock Desert.

Lamplighters heading out to light Black Rock City — a nightly event.

For those with refrigeration, you might try bringing one of our favorite meals:  Chinese Chicken Salad from Costco.  But don’t forget the lettuce – which doesn’t come in the “kit.”  A cooler of some sort will allow you to bring such goodies as guacamole and salsa to go with the ever-popular tortilla or pita chips.  After all, munchies can become a critical need at Burning Man.  Refrigeration also allows you to bring items such as hard-boiled eggs – a fast and easy way to stem your hunger.

The Survival Guide provides recommendations on how much water you’ll need, but we often bring as much Gatorade (or some other form of sports drink) as water.  It quenches your thirst and provides the electrolytes needed to withstand the desert heat.  You’ll definitely want to carry a drink with you on your treks across the desert – it’s thirsty work touring Black Rock City.  I usually carry my Camelback for a ready supply of water.  I also have a belt-mounted holster that can carry a bottle of Gatorade, and we have carriers on our bikes for extra water and pick-me-ups.  Cliff Bars and similar quick energy snacks can come in handy while you’re away from your BRC home.

There are plenty of other possible foods that you could consider as you plan your stay.  Just keep in mind the environment of the desert as well as the environment you’re creating for yourself in your tent, trailer or RV as you’re planning your food and drink.  And keep in mind that alcoholic drinks do not provide much in the way of hydration.  You need water in the desert, and ice in your cup full of scotch will not be enough.

There’s no place better than Burning Man to “eat, drink and be merry,” but you’ll need to make certain that you have the required supplies on board for the best possible experience.

We received a number of comments and suggestions on Reddit that I found so worthwhile (or amusing) that I wanted to share them with our readers.  Here they are:

Make a bunch of breakfast burritos before hand. Best decision of the burn last year. –74NK

Corned Beef Hash & Grilled Cheeses at 2am. – djotter

Plan out everything you want to eat ahead of time. Work up the menu at home.  Then cut the entire list by 75% and you will be close to what you will actually end up eating. Even then, you will have some food left over.  My personal choice for stuff out there: Stuffed Grape Leaves. Absolutely the best when its hot.  – SutekhRising

sounds very elementary but chilled fruit snacks are the best during the day.  — sheRex

I had Gushers and PBR for breakfast. — skyhawkecks

Much less than you think.

Bacon in tortillas is at least 50% of my playa calories. And single-serve-pack deli meat wrapped in tortillas.

Keep an eye on your salt intake. If you’re drinking a lot of water (like you should) you’ll need to eat a lot of salt. I drank only vitamin water (no sodium) my second year and crashed on day 3 because I forgot that rule.  – MayTheTorqueBeWithU

We brought a case of avocados last year. I had my doubts but they were soooooo good and easy to eat no matter when or how. — gypsymonkey

Take a soy sauce packet, pour it into a half with the skin still on, grab a spoon and prepare for awesome.  – dapete

Thanks for this Ive been looking for ideas for food on the playa 🙂 – Minnie_Mau5_1991

I bring a Coscto box of those frozen Jimmy Dean biscuit sands. They thaw over the week but they’re already fully cooked so they’re still good. They’re also individually wrapped and so immune to cooler water. Heat them up for about 20 minutes on the hood of a car. Again, keep them in the bag so they don’t get dirty. Don’t forget the hot sauce.

Tasty Bites right out of the bag with some bread is a great quick meal too.

I’ve found that an extra cooler that doesn’t have ice helps keep fruits and veggies a bit longer. Keep it ajar when it’s cool and then close it in the afternoon heat/dust storms. – dapete

You are supposed to eat out there? — Earptastic

Have you ever taken a look at Burning Man’s 10 Principles?  To a great extent, they provide a quick synopsis of the Burning Man ethos and what you can expect when you’re on the playa.

The principles are not an orthodoxy that everyone observes in a rigid manner.  They aren’t even guidelines for behavior.  They are simply an idealized vision of the world that Burning Man seeks to create each year.

The principle that has had the greatest impact on me personally is “radical inclusion,” which is nothing more than the idea that all are welcome at Burning Man.  Radical inclusion has helped me become a less judgmental person – especially when it comes to people’s appearances.  I spent much of my life hanging around with corporate types and others who fit into my general style of living.  There were few people with tattoos, ragged clothing or scraggly hair.  At Burning Man, I found myself living, working and playing beside people who didn’t fit into the corporate norm, and it took awhile for me to stop judging such people negatively or even avoiding them because I felt we had nothing in common.

Expect — and accept — the Unexpected at Burning Man

Eventually I let down my barriers and began reaching out to people who looked and acted differently from me.  It has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my Burning Man journey to discover the goodness that lies under outward appearances – even those that are the antipathy of your personal choices.  Radical inclusion has changed my entire outlook on people and opened doors to a much broader perspective.  It’s in my mind every day of my life because I constantly run into people who I might have previously rejected out of hand.

It may seem callous that I was such a snob in the past, but that was my reality until Burning Man.  And the change is one of the reasons I believe Burning Man has been so good for me as an older adult.  Late in life, I was able to expand my comfort zone and enlarge my community of interest to include people who think and act differently from me.  These changes have enhanced my life, opened my mind to new thoughts, and helped to keep me feeling young and vibrant.

The 10 Principles are not gospel, but they do provide a taste of the Burning Man environment and the ideas that drive the festival.  Check them out before you head for the Playa.

This is not a post about costumes, but about day-to-day comfort wear for Burning Man. You may not have thought about the type of clothing you’ll be wearing on a daily basis, but experience eventually teaches you to pack the right things for the situation you’ll be experiencing. The fact is, you want to be comfortable in the variable weather conditions of the Playa.
Daytimes when it’s hot out, the best type of clothing is short – short sleeves and short pants (otherwise known as shorts). A hat is also essential in the hot weather. But remember that the wind will carry that hat away unless it is tightly adhered to your body – whether by elastic, string or rubber bands.
Shoes: I’ve personally had the best luck with sandals. Sneakers are okay, but they tend to get much dirtier and dustier than sandals, and in any type of mud (due to rain) they become nearly unmanageable. Going barefoot is an option, but not a good one from my point of view. The alkali surface is rough on feet, and you’ll need constant attention (such as vinegar baths) if you go barefoot. Even most naked Burners wear shoes.
Some people substitute their whimsical underwear for light clothing. Nothing like a pair of Underoos to make a statement. I even have a pair of boxers with a silk-screened tool belt that I sometimes wear. It’s both comfy and stylish.
Of course, being uncovered means taking care to sunscreen yourself regularly. You don’t want to suffer through an unnecessary sunburn, much less risk the long-term effect of unfiltered ultraviolet rays. We usually carry our sunscreen with us as we walk around the Playa.

Dressed for Playa Success: Alan, our friend Helen and Judie ready for a night of fun.

Nights can be very different from days. It’s often in the triple digits daytime, but in the 40s at night. You’ll want to be both comfortable and safe in the evening. We’ve found a number of terrific fur or faux fur coats that look and feel great in the evening. We line the outside with EL wire so people can see us and we can look more festive. Bur remember, using EL wire means you have to pack extra batteries to keep the flame burning, and it also means carrying one or more power packs in a pocket.
My typical daytime wear includes jeans shorts, a tee shirt (preferably one that was designed at a previous Burn), socks and sandals. Yes, socks too. I really try to protect my feet from the Playa. We always take off both shoes and socks when we enter the RV, thus keeping some of the dust outside. There are typically a slew of shoes and socks at our front door. Fortunately, there’s no Burning Man homeowner’s association to tell you to neaten up the place.  Doing whatever your heart desires is part of the fun of Burning Man.
Wear what you want, or wear nothing at all. Burning Man offers all possible options. Dress yourself to the teeth or dress down. Everything is perfect for Burning Man. Just consider your comfort as you pack for the Playa.

We really struggled last year with our RV at Burning Man.  Among the problems was a hole in the long gas intake pipe, which caused any gas being put in the tank to leak.  You’re not supposed to put anything other than pure, clean water on the Playa surface, so we couldn’t add fuel the whole time we were at the burn.

An even bigger problem was the generator, which died on us mid-Burn.  The generator permits us to use the air conditioner, a creature-comfort that we find critically important so we can rest during the hot part of the day.  The RV becomes stifling without the air conditioner.

We were fortunate that TPP (The Playa Provides) once again proved more than just a legend.  Shortly after our problem occurred, two generators magically showed up and we were back in business for the remainder of the Burn.

White out conditions on the Playa

What failed on our generator was the starter motor.  The shop that made the repairs suggested that Playa dust was a major contributor, and we agree with that assessment.  The question is, what can we do about it?  At this point, I’m not sure.  Air has to come into the generator for it to work properly, so we can’t simply cover the air vents provided for that purpose.  The filtration system that is part of the generator was never intended to cope with a week or more in the desert (we spent 10 days there last year).  So I’m trying to come up with an air permeable dust filter that can be attached to the outside of the generator compartment.  Maybe a furnace filter would work.  We could attach it with duct tape and change it when it got too full of dust.

I’d certainly welcome any suggestions; meawhile, those of you bringing an RV to the Playa should take this as a cautionary tale.  The desert environment is harsh and puts stress on our bodies and the equipment we bring with us.  Come as well prepared as possible for a dusty week.

The single best way I can think of to prepare yourself for Burning Man is to get involved in some local or regional Burn activities.  These can be Regional Burns, Decompressions, after-burns, pre-burns, Burnal Equinox parties or other activities organized by Burners near your location.  At these events, you’ll get to know fellow Burners, get your questions answered, and learn the ins and outs of the Burning Man experience.

One of the most exciting of these opportunities to meet other Burners is participating in one of the CORE (Circle of Regional Effigies) projects, which will create art to be placed around the Man and burned on Thursday of the week of Burning Man.

Last year’s CORE projects were highly successful and added substantial new art to the Playa.  For 2013, the CORE projects have expanded to 24, and are far more international in scope.  If one of these projects is taking place in your vicinity, find out what you can about participating.  The skilled and the unskilled are needed to put these art installations together and get them to the Playa.

Playa art at its finest — or at least its whimsy-est.

Here’s the list of this year’s CORE projects:

• Altar of the Wetlands: Recreating Nature in a Post-Industrial Society from New Orleans
• Anti-Monument to DC Art Culture and Former President John Frum aka The DC Pyramid Scheme, from Washington DC
• Artifactuary from Vancouver
• The Cargo Mother from Houston
• The Czech Oasis from the Czech Republic
• Dutch Windmill from the Netherlands (Dutch Burners)
• First House Project from the East Bay
• Flor de Muerto – Flower of the Dead from Victoria
• The Good, the Bad and the Naughty from Reno
• Hand of Inspiration from Israel (“MidBurn”)
• Inchanted Forest from Indiana
• Lituanica birds from Lithuania
• Ludum Et Refugium from Portland
• Marvin from Idaho
• Meditation from China / Taiwan
• Playa Queen from Sacramento
• PyscheDelicate Arch from Salt Lake City
• Source Maui “Kavai Ahi” from Maui
• South Bay CORE from the South Bay
• Stairway to Heaven from France
• Star of the City from New York
• Starfish from San Diego
• Temple of Times from Austin
• The Year the Playa Stood Still from Minnesota

Last summer, my wife and I were involved in the creation of the 2012 Sacramento CORE project, Arboreum, which was part of the original group of regional art installations.  We didn’t do the heavy lifting – just some painting, cutting, hammering and toting – but it made us feel like part of the effort and helped us create some new Burner relationships.

If one of the CORE projects listed above is taking place nearbt, you can do the same as we did, and join in the fun.  Meanwhile, check the Jack Rabbit Speaks for regional parties or find some local Burners and get in the loop about local Burning Man activities.

Many older people won’t go to Burning Man out of concern for their mobility on the Playa.  It’s an appropriate and understandable worry – especially for those of us who find “getting around” a lot harder than it used to be.  Black Rock City, while a small town in many ways, is vast when it comes to transporting yourself from point-to-point.  Restrictions on the types of vehicles available means that most people either walk or bike to get anywhere.  The surface can be tricky at times, with sand build-ups that can present pedaling challenges should you encounter one of these “mini-dunes” unexpectedly.

If you have the kind of serious mobility issues that entitle you to a handicap placard on your car, then it seems obvious that Burning Man is not your venue.  But what sometimes seems obvious is merely a lack of knowledge about resolutions already in place.  For example, there’s the Black Rock City Department of Mobility, which states on the Burning Man site:

“… we offer the gift of mobility to fellow Burners who might have difficulty traveling to the far reaches of Black Rock City. It is our goal to expand and enhance the opportunities for our Theme camp guests to PARTICIPATE!”

To find out more about BRC’s Department of Mobility camp and the services it offers, contact Brcmobility@gmail.com or Hotwheelz.camp@gmail.com.

But you can also take the route of independent transportation by bringing your own special vehicle and licensing it through the DMV (Department of Mutant Vehicles).  There are restrictions and limitations on such vehicles such as size and type of vehicles (see the list below), but there’s plenty of room for creativity and there’s a genuine desire for inclusiveness (Radical Inclusion one of Burning Man’s “10 Principles”).

Our bikes ready for a day on the Playa.

I remember one pedal-powered art car built in the shape of a foot, and operated by a Burner who was actually missing one of his feet.  The vehicle not only gave an otherwise disabled person a means of transportation, but also made a public statement that both grieved for and celebrated the missing limb.

Those with mobility challenges can also choose to traverse the Playa on one of the plethora of art cars, but will have to cope with the randomness of art car routes — recognizing that you could end up stranded far from your home camp.  Fortunately for all of us attending Burning Man, the Playa provides, and there’s usually plenty of help anytime we find ourselves in jeopardy.

Below is the specific information from the Burning Man website pertaining to vehicles for people with disabilities:

“If you have a physical disability, you should be able to receive a disabled license from the DMV. Pre-registration is necessary. Please go here to find out more about vehicles and transportation for those with disabilities.

The following vehicles will NOT be licensed:

• Vehicles larger than pickup trucks (converted “mobility vans” are acceptable)
• Vehicles having multiple levels
• Vehicles with trailers
• RVs
• Motorcycles
• ATVs”

To reiterate one of the most crucial statements from the above directive:  “Pre-registration is necessary.”  Coming to the Playa unprepared and trying to meet a special-needs situation on the fly can result in disappointment and a bad Burn experience.  So check all the information carefully, and come well-prepared to meet your personal mobility needs.

But one thing you will never find at Burning Man is rejection of people based on disabilities, or on any other inherent issue.  We mean it when we say “Welcome Home” to everyone who arrives at the gate.

Sex is a frequent subject when it comes to Burning Man.  There’s an openness to discuss matters of sex at the Festival, sexual references throughout the playa, naked people and dress that would be called – in the default world – provocative.

My wife once entered a Miss Black Rock City pageant and won in the best-dressed category – principally because she was the only candidate who actually had clothes on.

There’s a great divide between age groups in society, which is also at least somewhat true about those who attend Burning Man.  Sex seems to have less significance for people who grew up in the 90s than it did for those of us who grew up in the 60s.  That really came home to me some seven years ago when my wife and I attended our first Burn together (I had gone to my initial Burn with my son the year before).

Judie and I decided that Burning Man would be the perfect place to “get married” in honor of our 40^th anniversary.  So we made arrangements to hold the wedding ceremony at the Ashram Galactica Hotel International.  Everyone in the bar/disco that night became a guest at our wedding.

Exchanging vows at our Burning Man wedding.

After the ceremony, one girl – probably barely in her 20s – came up to me and said, “Can I ask you a question?”

Naturally, I answered “yes.”

Her question:  “Have you been monogamous for all those years?”

My answer:  “Why, yes, I have.”

Her response:  “Would you please talk to my boyfriend?”

I turned down her request suggesting that the conversation needed to be between the boyfriend and her, without the intervention of some old codger who lacked a therapist’s license.

I’ve since heard stories (possibly apocryphal) about couples that go to Burning Man and get a temporary divorce, or at least a release from their marriage vows for the week.  There may even be a camp that issues such short-term documents.  I know of individuals who go without their spouses and enjoy of week of sexual pleasures with the winking acceptance of their wife or husband.  Everyone’s entitled to his or her own approach to sexuality at Burning Man (or anywhere else, for that matter), but what I find healthy and pleasurable while remaining committed to my spouse is the recognition of sex as a life-force and the permission that Burning Man gives to keep that life-force out in the open and fully alive.

I’ve written on more than one occasion that the openness of sex at Burning Man is one of the reasons I feel younger after attending each Festival.  It’s good for me personally and for us as a couple to live in that environment once a year, to revel in our own and the world’s sexuality, and to remember how much we enjoy each other physically as well as emotionally.